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Cannot be done in a month of Sundays
Cannot care less
Cannot catch a cold
Cannot drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse
Cannot drive a knife through soft butter
Cannot drive a nail into a bucket of water
Cannot fight his way out of a wet paper bag
Cannot fix a root in a brothel
Cannot for the life of smb.
Cannot get a kick in a cow yard
Cannot get a kick in a stampede
Cannot give a fat rat's clacker